tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70146270258961405232024-03-14T00:38:55.523-06:00On Distant ShoresNed Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.comBlogger107125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-30103938509406499872019-04-29T10:54:00.000-06:002019-04-29T10:54:05.817-06:00A Departure<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Archived from the Funnells in Utah blog:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The homeless population in Salt Lake
City has multiplied over the past few years. While up north on an airport
drop-off errand, I stopped for lunch at Carl’s Jr and a man approached me
asking for some money I've refused to give money in the past for worry it'd
feed substance abuse- and kept walking. I did want to help this man, who seemed
sincere and desperate. I said I wouldn't give him money, but I'd buy him lunch
if he wanted. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Alan and I had lunch together and he
told me about his troubles- losing his place to sleep several days ago,
injuring his hand painfully so that he couldn't work, and shoes that'd fallen
apart replaced by $2 thrift store dress shoes. He'd worked in video and media
most of his life, but something went sideways, and he had nowhere to go- his
family had all passed away. I looked for resources on my phone and ended up
connecting him with a volunteer from a local organization that can help him
find housing, food, and treatment for his hand. I had a deadline to be back in
Ephraim, so I prayed with him and left him with money for another meal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sarah and I are leaving Utah.
Today's opportunity to minister to Alan is an example of the kind of ministry
we will do in the future, as all believers are called to. As we explain in our
annual update, we've found out that vocational ministry isn't our forever
future. We all, however, are called to full-time ministry: to be
compassionately responsive when approached at a cheap fast food joint, to be a
genuine friend that your community knows they can really and truly open up to
when life hurts, to bring up children of character, and to keep watchful and
open eyes for the opportunities God gives to believers to be his agents in a
broken, hurting world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">In a few months, Sarah and I will rejoin you as full-time
ministers of the Gospel. We'll no longer be doing so as our vocation, so here
in Ephraim, the small groups, bagels, burned-out light bulbs, and icy driveways
will be tended by others the Lord has called here for that work. Many of you
have already received our annual newsletter in the mail and might have read our
longer explanation for our decision. It's also available to read</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> <a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/16U1A33N_WBW1cvuH7g9N3dWUYObbSVAP/view?usp=sharing">here as well (PDF)</a>.<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span><br />
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Serving in Utah has been a privilege. We’ve seen many great things happen and
consider ourselves blessed to have been a part of them. While we were not
anticipating our time here to be only a few years, we see the good things that
have come out of those years, and believe that our impact leaves the people of
Utah better than when we arrived. We want to thank all of you who have
supported us and made our work possible. We appreciate your faith, your
investment, and your kindness.</span></span></span>Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-49542112203226891952016-12-18T15:43:00.001-07:002016-12-18T15:43:20.584-07:00Cheap Chinese seat heaters will burn you and everything you loveAbout a year ago, I installed some cheap seat heater kits I got off of Aliexpress in our Prius. Today, one of them burned a large hole in the seat:<br />
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Hole in my wife's jacket. </div>
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It goes all the way through.</div>
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Yeah, Problem. Burned a hole clean through my wife's jacket and started to singe her sweater before we smelled smoke and realized what happened. I should have known better- this happened right after I replaced the fuse that fed the heaters, which had blown. I assumed it had blown because these were added to the cigarette lighter accessory circuit and we'd accidentally overloaded it- I guess not! There was obviously a defect in the heater. Furthermore, the bottom heating element had previously burned a small hole in the seat fabric about a month ago- see the small (6mm) hole in the seat fabric in the third photo above. Since it was less severe and the only example, I'd chalked it up to a one-time defect and resolved not to buy again. I disconnected that element and continued to use the others. Evidently, there is a big design or manufacturing problem here! Buyer beware: think twice before buying cheap seat heater kits from China, and definitely not from this seller. (<a href="https://www.aliexpress.com/store/319182">EYESAUTO ELECTRONICS</a>)</div>
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I'm messaging the AliExpress seller to see how we can resolve this- I doubt I'll be made whole, given the nature of a trans-pacific factory-direct transaction, but I can hope. Buyer beware! </div>
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Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-34304904048586590252015-05-28T14:58:00.001-06:002015-05-28T15:31:21.970-06:00Exciting News From the Funnells!<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Sarah and I have some exciting news
to share! Yes, we are expecting a baby, but that’s not the news- it’s that we
are also expecting to join the staff of Tri-Grace Ministries as full-time
missionaries, and that we are beginning the process of building a support
network. You may know that our little boy (due in August) owes his existence to
Tri-Grace, because that is where Sarah and I met almost five years ago while
working as assistant staff. When we left Utah after the 1-year program, we were
in love, both with each other, and with Utah. As we spoke about our hoped-for
future together, returning to Utah was always part of the conversation. Today
we are pleased to announce that Tri-Grace has invited us to join their team as
full-time staff as soon as we are able.</div>
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One big question is “when?” The
main determinant of that is paying off student debt. With a return to Utah in
mind from the beginning of our relationship, we have been steadily paying off
student debt for over three years, and are about 75% done. Although our current
rate would forecast us being debt-free about a year from now, there is also a
baby coming, and little Funnell’s impact on our finances is difficult to
predict. We need this time, though, to prepare for the new roles we’ll be
filling, and to build a network of supporters before we can go.</div>
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The other big question is “why?”
Answering that question could be an all-day conversation, but the simple answer
is that Sarah and I are convinced that the truth Jesus Christ taught is
essential for all people to know, and the people of Utah have been uniquely
disadvantaged in hearing it. For over a century, people in Utah have been sheltered
from the outside world by a cult which misrepresents and distorts what Jesus
taught, and replaces it with a system of performance and self-glorification that
leaves people hopeless. The culture of Utah presents a façade of success and
wholesome living, but there is very real turmoil under the surface. Utah is a frontrunner
in the US for antidepressant use, high stress levels, suicide in all age
groups, pornography consumption, prescription substance abuse, and other
heartbreaking statistics.</div>
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Sarah and I have seen the way this
can play out- a person has a thin veneer of perfection they are attempting to
hold up as their church and culture demand, but inside they are full of
repressed questions about why they exist, who they are, and what the truth really
is. 21<sup>st</sup> century technology has made answers available to many
through the internet and media distributions, and the LDS church is in a crisis-
people are losing their faith in their man-made religion en masse: either
actively denouncing their association with the church or slowly losing their
faith and fading away. We are ecstatic to see a false church crumble, but are
also keenly aware of how this affects its members. When a person’s entire
worldview has hinged on one thing- a prophet, a church, a conviction- and that
thing crumbles, it is devastating. What will happen to the people of Utah,
already struggling with in incongruity between the expectations of their faith
and reality, when the primary thing holding their culture together collapses?</div>
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Tri-Grace has seen an influx of
ex-Mormon traffic in their ministry, and have a need for additional staff to
help handle the changing situation. God has done so much in little Ephraim,
Utah, where no light shone 25 years ago- there is now an active and growing
church of 110 with a coffee-shop outreach ministry to the small college in
town. Sarah and I want to go there and put our shoulders to the wheel to save
those who have never known true hope.</div>
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We are taking first steps to
partner with Tri-Grace Ministries in Ephraim, Utah, but there is still quite a
lot of work left to do. Expect to see more news and information from us in the
months to come. We will be establishing a separate blog to share our journey
and hope you will follow us.</div>
Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-32284206964887381242014-06-25T20:49:00.000-06:002014-06-25T20:54:57.026-06:00Stickers, scribbles, cracks, and adventure<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Seven years ago, I went on a big adventure. I spent the summer in Alaska volunteering at a Bible camp, then went on to Australia to see Jacob and Michelle get married, and proceeded on to South Korea for a semester abroad. All in all, it was a nine month trip. This Rubbermaid container was one of my pieces of luggage. It is covered in memories- stickers from Tokyo airport security, an "Ian was here" note, scuffs and cracks, and dozens of notes and phone numbers written during my missing-passport adventure in LAX. I was stuck for two days in LA because a Korean consulate employee dropped my urgent/overnight mail with my passport and visa into a drop box on a Friday </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">afternoon and it was not picked up until Monday. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I was able to crash with a friend of Ian's until it arrived, just in time for me to make it to the wedding and to lose my 20th birthday the international date line while flying west.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The nine-month experience was amazing and my thirst for adventure has burned ever since. My life is different now- I'm in loan repayment, have a rental house, and have embarked on the adventure of life together with Sarah. When such excellent adventures are in my past as a single man, it can make it hard to see weekend trips as adventures. It can even feel like a loss- and in a way it is. But what I have gained- progress towards financial freedom, a home, and a soulmate who loves me unconditionally- are more valuable than the most carefree international romp. There is a part of each of us that desires to have everything good with no sacrifice. As children, we learn that we can't hold every single toy in our little hands, that we cannot have energy to play if we do not go to sleep, and that we sometimes give up a demand in order to keep a friend. These simple concepts are really the same as opening up the joy of marriage by leaving behind the vacuum of responsibility that exists in singleness- but multiplied by the magnitude of a lifetime, they sometimes daunt me. I wish I had ridden a motorcycle across Vietnam, built a trebuchet, learned to freedive or play the guitar, turbo'd an E30, hiked the Appalachian trail or spent some of that freedom a thousand other ways than I did. (Video games, tinkering, and eating, mostly) </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I do not feel bitter, though, or underprivileged. I could compare myself with any epic Youtube video or somebody's amazing Facebook album, but that would be sad, untrue, and ungrateful. I've had a good run at youth. I went on big adventures and had wonderful experiences that many others more deserving than I did not. I did not deserve such a wonderful youth as I've had. The adventures are not over; I am not resigning myself to some boring picture of adulthood or placing the Ned I have been in a memory box. But I will acknowledge that my adventure looks different now, just like the Ned in the mirror. My knees are not what they once were, I need to avoid widowing Sarah via motorcycle wreck, and over the next couple decades, I'll probably be rediscovering the world through my children's eyes. My hope now, and my image of adventure to come, is to continue to discover the joy, the freedom, and the excitement of leaving an imprint on the world around me that will matter when the dust settles. Who will I have loved? With whom will I have shared the truth? What encouragement have I given to my family and friends? When this world fades away, will my adventure die with it, or will it be recorded in those whom I'll worship with, and in the book of life? So says the proverb, "as we spend our days, so we spend our lives". I'm not starting today- I started August 8, 1987. I am nearly 27 years into my adventure, and I intend to use what I have left to live with eternal purpose. </span></span>Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-47588820998543933722013-12-02T10:53:00.001-07:002013-12-02T10:53:33.946-07:00Origin-al Christmas<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
Friends and family,<u></u><u></u></div>
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You may get some strange gifts from the Funnells this Christmas, but it is for a good reason. In order to explain, imagine Sarah and I in a Meijer toy aisle, looking at an eye-catching board game. While Sarah appreciated the cute design on the box, I flipped it over and searched for what I knew would be there: “Made in China”. As cute as the game was, I was not pleased with it because I knew the smiling face of whoever will receive that game this year is made possible by a blank, lifeless face somewhere in Guangzhou operating a printing press or assembling the pieces. I’m not comfortable giving gifts that reinforce a way of doing things where one Has because another Has Not. Sarah and I left that Meijer (without toys) having decided not to give any gifts this year that we weren't sure were produced way I’d be comfortable watching. Surely, endless rows of tables surrounded by Chinese (Indonesian, Bangladeshi, Vietnamese…) men and women without opportunities to improve their situation, making far too little, and under a political regime that denies their right to hear the truth of Jesus would not be comfortable for me to watch. Sarah and I have chosen not to support that this year.<u></u><u></u></div>
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We’re not posting this because we want to be smug, but because of Romans 12:9- “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.” I’d argue that love which pleases one while contributing to the suffering of another is not the most genuine. Isn’t the abuse of workers to produce luxury items for the wealthy evil, which we should abhor? We want our love to be the most genuine we can, so we are choosing only to give gifts we know and approve the origin of. Plastic toys from China, where <a href="https://www.persecution.com/public/newsroom.aspx?story_ID=Mjk1" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">preaching the true gospel is illegal</a>: No. Wooden toys made by Ned: Yes! Kitchen tools from Vietnam, where the average factory worker <a href="http://www.aroundinvietnam.com/money-matters/average-salary.html" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">makes $150 per month</a>: No. Maple syrup from the local farmer’s market: Yes! A golden necklace, made with <a href="http://www.hrw.org/news/2013/04/18/mali-end-child-labor-gold-mines" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">gold mined by Malian children</a> using poisonous mercury: No. A cross necklace made by rescued Thai sex workers that supports their families: Yes! Cute and inexpensive garments sewn in Jordan, where immigrant seamstresses <a href="http://www.globallabourrights.org/press?id=0378" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">are regularly raped by their bosses</a>: No. Gently-used clothes from a thrift store that don’t create demand in those factories: Yes! An electronic gadget made by factory workers in China whose dormitories are <a href="http://news.cnet.com/2300-13579_3-10013733-14.html" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">surrounded by nets</a> to discourage suicide: No. A honorary gift from the <a href="http://donate.worldvision.org/OA_HTML/xxwv2ibeCCtpSctDspRte.jsp?go=gift&&section=10389" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">World Vision catalog</a> which benefits someone with great need: Yes!<u></u><u></u></div>
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This year, we will choose what is genuinely loving, not what is convenient. We’re not ashamed to post this although we know that it will make some uncomfortable- we know that the danger, pain, and abuse that others suffer when we choose to support their oppressors is more important. Let your love be genuine- not only for the recipients of your gifts as well as the people who made the gift. Will you consider making some, or all of your Christmas this year Origin-al? Consider the origin of your gift and whether it is fit for the holiday that bears Christ’s name. You may worry that if you make only this one change, you could be called a hypocrite- but how much more if you have heard the truth and do not change at all? Choose love, not comfort. </div>
Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-73585752809275292522013-03-05T19:09:00.000-07:002013-03-05T19:09:00.992-07:00Dances with the Nigerian Scammer A few years ago, I was living in Marshalltown, Iowa, while working an internship with a company there. I was driving a Mitsubishi Montero at the time, and it was a good enough car for me. Unfortunately, I made a wonky left turn that spring and got nailed in a rear quarter by a speedy lady in a Blazer. Sorry, speeding lady! I hope Geico took care of you!<br />
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Having my car wrecked pretty intensely ruined my motoring prospects for a while. Fortunately, my roommate worked at the same company, so we just made our occasional carpooling arrangement full-time until I got some wheels under me again. I determined that I could stick my poor Montero on Craigslist and hope for a little bit of money, and replace it with something cheap. So, on Craigslist it went: the land of grammar abominations, sketchy used mattresses, and tiny, dark pictures of rusty cars. Prime location for my banged-up Montero!<br />
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I was hoping it would find a new owner soon in Marshalltown, but it was not to be. It did eventually find a new owner, in Texas, after some shady-but-functional repair work on my part. It got me back to college, despite VERY questionable brakes near the end of the non-air-conditioned August drive, during which it also nearly cut off my foot when it fell off of a borrowed jack during an freeway-side tire change.<br />
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I was younger then. I was more daring, and more stupid.<br />
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This tells you nothing, however, about the native of Nigeria who lusted after my heap-of-junk Montero! Was it the rollover-prone soccer-mom-mobile that he was after? Or... was it my checking account?<br />
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As you shall see, it turned out to be the latter. The poor Nigerian scammer, though, did not get his wish. It all started out with a simple inquiry:<br />
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As you can see, the English grammar requirements to be a scammer are not high. I was about 98% sure this was a scammer: the composition is poor, the specific item itself is not mentioned by name (allow mass copy/pasted messages), and the language is not natural. There was little risk in sending a brief response without personal info, though, so I gave him the same link to photos I had in my ad. If he replied the next email would give him away.<br />
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...and surely enough, it did! Obvious, classic scam material. Protip: If someone wants to send you a check, they're a scammer. Protip: If someone wants to send you a check without ever seeing the vehicle or getting any details whatsoever, they're a scammer. Protip: If someone wants to send you a check without ever seeing the vehicle or getting any details whatsoever and they have unnatural composition, they are a scammer. Since the gig was up for Mr. Moore of Nigeria, I decided to try and have some fun with him. I thought that he probably would notice that I was not in fact Mr. Obama, residing at the White House's address, but this fact seemed to slip by him.<br />
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Well, how about that! With a legitimate UPS tracking number, I'd have thought that this guy was a first-class scammer- except that he thought he was scamming B. H. Obama and remained clueless. I puzzled over the UPS tracking number for a while. It did in fact register a parcel on the UPS website, and one delivered to Ames, Iowa, which is pretty close to Marshalltown. How did he get that number? Did he actually send something to Ames in order to get it? Did he enter numbers on the UPS site randomly until he got something close to my location? Surely that'd take forever. I have no clue.<br />
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Let me briefly explain how his scam works: he pretends to send you a check for the purchase price of your item plus an additional amount that he needs you to forward on to a shipper. He never sends you a check (or sends you a fake one), but tells you that you need to send the shipper's payment immediately, and pressures you to do so. The victim, believing they're getting a great deal, sends the shipper's payment, which really ends up on Mr. Scammer's doorstep. You sent him real money, but his check never arrives, or is fake. He then disappears with your money and sips piña coladas in the hot West African sun.<br />
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I had thought he'd be tipped off after the second message, but apparently, he was so excited over the prospect of having an American wire him money, he forgot to have any sense. I was picturing a guy in an internet cafe in Abuja wetting his pants with excitement over the stupid American who fell for his scam. What luck! Time to make this interesting: now that I have him on the hook, he's in for the long haul.<br />
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Let's see if we can get this loser to fill out a form for me! He, of course, has no interest in doing anything of the sort. He just wants my money. This doesn't fit into his plan. There's a subtle nuance to this form, and I was incredibly lucky to find it. Here's why: I'm calling this guy Nigerian because nearly 100% of these scams original from Nigeria. They're called 419 scams, because it's section 419 of the Nigerian penal code that forbids them. This guy, surely, must have known the number 419, because it was his work. I'm imagining him sitting at his computer when he gets this: first, incredulous that this stupid American wants him to fill out of form- then, panic and fear at the sight of the number 419. Has he been found out? Are government agents coming to collect him even now? (No, they're not: Nigeria doesn't care that it's the scam capital of the world) <a href="http://www.usa-federal-forms.com/dod/3-pdf-forms_pubs/www.dtic.mil/whs/directives/infomgt/forms/eforms/dd0419.pdf">The form I found</a> is US government for for requesting shipping, and happens to be form number... 419!<br />
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What's a poor scammer to do? Stick to the plan. Get the dumb American to send the money. That's the modus operandi, and he's sticking to it. Not going to happen, Mr. Scammer!<br />
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Now he's really incredulous: I won't send the money until I get the form, and I sound serious! Darn it all! What to do? Ah.... but of course. Promise that the non-existant all-lowercase shipper from Denver is going to bring the form! Brilliant! Mmmm... not going to happen, scam-man. How has he not caught onto the obvious yet? Did the earlier hope for a Western Union transfer rob him of all lucid thought?<br />
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Yes! Yes it did! That, my friends, is a scanned image of a US military request for shipping form, poorly filled out in pencil by a Nigerian scammer, and sent back to me in hopes that I would wire him some money. Take a look: </div>
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Ahh... WOW. Writing in the column headers. "The number of item to be moved is"t one." And is it coming from Washington DC or Marshalltown? Is there a "Denver City", Colorado? "I count on on you and believe that, you will <span style="font-family: inherit;">release the item to my prepaid mover when he gets to you." "<s><span style="line-height: 115%;">Arriving</span></s><span style="line-height: 115%;"> A<s>riving</s> <s>contact</s></span></span> contact on arriving"<br />
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Brilliant. I cannot express to you the degree of mirth that I experienced when I convinced a nigerian man who was trying to scam me to send me a form. The poor guy had to find a place to print out my form (costing him money), fill it out, and find a way to scan it. He must have been desperate, or completely oblivious. Wow.<br />
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Since he had gone so far, I had to congratulate him, but hope for a little more:<br />
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STOP PLAYING ME A GAME! Boy, I thought that dangling the promise of more money would get him coming my way, but the man had a plan, and he was sticking to it. It looks like belligerence was the next improvised step on our detour from his script. He dances out his UPS tracking number again (truly, it's a good trick), but I have some bad news for him:<br />
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I've got to play sympathetic- surely the man would be worried if his non-existent check had not been properly delivered to B. H. Obama at the White House! The best course of action would be to stop payment on that one and send me a new one- and of course, I'll get ready to send the 'shipper' a boatload of money! Better make it out for eleven grand, a cool ten thousand more than our original deal. He doesn't seem to notice that, though: the amount is of no concern to a man who's not really sending you checks!<br />
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I'm sad to say it my friends, but at this point, poor "David Moore" lost hope. Not even the promise of the very shiny Montero could get a response from him. Perhaps adopting strange parting statements tipped him off, or perhaps he returned to his senses. It was too much to hope for, I guess. One last email, months later, went unanswered:<br />
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Once burned, twice shy, I guess. No promise of fat American dollars could lure this guy out of his cave.<br />
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So there you have it: The story of how I trolled a Nigerian scammer.<br />
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Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-69564731411062227382012-11-09T10:13:00.001-07:002012-11-09T10:13:08.841-07:00The Sad, Untimely Death of Your Car<br />
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You've probably heard this adage: "If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to eat out." Humbly, I would like to present another adage in the same vein: "If you can't afford maintenance, you can't afford a car." I possess a modicum of knowledge about cars. I have done work ranging from oil changes to transmission swaps on others' cars. I've seen a number of cars in various states of upkeep, but the vast majority of cars I've worked on for friends have left me shaking my head and thinking some variation of the above.</div>
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I intend to lecture you, reader, so feel free to leave off here if you're unwilling to listen.</div>
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Maintaining a car is optional in the same way that bathing is optional. You can skip it or put it off as long as you're prepared to deal with the consequences. If you don't bathe, you'll smell, have fewer friends, and probably get ill. If you skip or delay auto maintenance, you'll spend more on repairs, go through more cars, and maybe injure or kill yourself (and others) in an avoidable crash.</div>
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Let's talk about the costs first. If you keep your tires at the proper pressure, they'll last drastically longer than underfilled ones. (Like they're designed to) If you do oil changes with the proper oil at the correct interval, your engine will probably outlast your car- at least, if you live somewhere with salted roads. If you change your air filter at the proper interval, you'll enjoy the fuel economy your car ought to have. If you have the major manufacturer-recommended maintenance done when it's due, your car will likely last much longer, and you'll have significantly higher resale value to boot.</div>
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If you ignore these things, you'll have a car that burns more gas than it should, is less reliable, will die sooner, and could involve you, your loved ones, or someone elses' loved ones in a fatal accident.</div>
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Do you think I'm joking or exaggerating? Overworn or underpressurized tires, worn shocks, squealing brakes, and ignored dash warning lights are the kind of problems that make your car stop more slowly and fail to swerve like you want when another driver, deer, or child is in your path. Do you <i>really</i> think your car is going to perform like it should in an emergency driving situation when you've been treating it the way you have?</div>
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I did an oil change for a friend recently. The oil hadn't been changed since the car was bought months ago, and instead of the five quarts the automotive engineers mandated be in the engine, less than three drained out. The tires on the truck were visibly- dangerously- low, and the air filter had been changed recently, but only because I suggested it when I was ordering some parts online last month. The one that came out then looked like the inside of your vacuum cleaner bag. This is typical of what I see on friends' cars. This vehicle will inevitably die a early death, consuming plenty of the owner's dollars before it does, unless it takes someone's well-being or life first.</div>
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What about consequences that go deeper than your wallet or your health? I am a Christian. I know myself to be a steward charged to take care of and effectively use God's things that are on loan to me. This includes my time, my money, my health, my possessions- including my car. Before any Christian buys a car, they should assess whether they are ready to be a diligent and faithful steward of God's car. It's not a lofty ideal, it's a practical thing you do every day. You bathe the body you're the steward of every day, right? (...right?) If your car had arrived on your doorstep with a note from God saying "You may borrow my car, just take care of it and use it well." Would you lazily forget when the oil change is due on God's car? Would you fail to put air in the tires until they were visibly deformed? Would you drive God's kids in the car with shocks that won't be changed they're clunking?</div>
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I didn't think so. Whose car do you drive?</div>
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Owning a car is responsibility. It's not (just) a rite of passage, a necessity, or a convenience. You cannot and may not evade this responsibility by virtue of your lack of skills, brokeness, or busyness. Learning how to own a car isn't hard. Crack open your owner's manual and follow the maintenance schedule. If it's asking you to do things you don't know how to do, get on YouTube, CarBibles, or ask a friend. If that not your style, you'll garner no judgement from me, just crack open your wallet and have a professional do it. On time.<br />
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I'm considering advising my friends to buy electric cars. Sure, you can only go 60-90 miles on a charge, but all of the maintenance is so much less. The first oil change comes after 240 months in a i-MiEV. 20 years. Yes, you must still worry about tires, shocks, and brakes, but it's kind of like a Fisher-Price My First Car in the maintenance respect. Judging by the maintenance I typically see, that's what a lot of people need.</div>
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Although this is a topic for another time, your responsibility to drive your car well is arguably greater than your responsibility to maintain it. Learn how to drive your car properly, and don't assume that you know how to drive properly because you took the test 3 or 30 years ago and haven't killed anyone since then. In Finland, new drivers must have 15 hours of in-car training, 20 theory driving lessons, additional time driving on a slippery driving course, pass a theory exam and a 30-minute driving test in the city. Finlanders are three times less likely to be injured in an auto wreck than Americans<a href="http://deepblue.lib.umich.edu/bitstream/2027.42/973/2/82897.0001.001.pdf">*</a>.</div>
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I'm not going to tell you how to maintain your car here, nor how to drive it. I'm just going to say that if you're not, you're the person who doesn't tip their server and hasn't showered lately. The difference is that you're not just hurting the waiter and smelling up the room, you're hurting yourself and endangering everyone you share the road with.</div>
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Before you turn the key next time, assess whether you've fulfilled the responsibilities of a car owner.</div>
Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-64409118517084164562012-09-12T20:12:00.002-06:002012-09-12T20:20:22.968-06:00Grocery store showdown: Germany vs. Arkansas. FIGHT!<br />
I went price shopping lately, and compared Aldi with Walmart. Here are the results. These prices reflect the cheapest option and don't attempt to compare brand-for-brand, just equivalent items. The prices were current as of last week in Plainfield, Illinois. Note that this is an upscale area- Walmart probably has higher prices here than they would in another area, while Aldi's cost-cutting techniques probably serve them well, allowing them to keep their prices comparable to other Aldis elsewhere.<br />
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Item<o:p></o:p></div>
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Aldi<o:p></o:p></div>
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Walmart<o:p></o:p></div>
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Difference<o:p></o:p></div>
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Apples (Granny smith, 3lb)<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="color: green;">$3.19<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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$4.47<o:p></o:p></div>
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40.1%<o:p></o:p></div>
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Milk (Whole, 1 gal)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
$1.80<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">$1.78<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
1.1%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Eggs (large, dozen)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">$1.28<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
$1.48<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
15.6%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Canola oil (48 fl oz)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
$2.69<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">$2.68<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
0.4%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Bread (12 grain, loaf)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">$1.69<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
$2.38<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
40.8%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Mayonnaise (Kraft Olive oil, 22 fl oz)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">$2.89<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
$3.24<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
12.1%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Turkey deli meat, sliced, packaged (1 lb)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
$3.29<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">$2.98<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
9.4%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Mangoes (each)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">59</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: green; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><span style="color: green;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
98<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
66.1%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Sausage links, Italian, packaged (per ounce)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">14.7</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: green; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><span style="color: green;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
15.7<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
6.8%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Sliced cheese, packaged, cheapest (per ounce)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">24.9</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: green; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"> ¢</span><span style="color: green;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
27.7<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
11.2%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Baby swiss cheese wedges, foil wrapped (per ounce)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">32.3</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: green; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><span style="color: green;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
46.3<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
43.3%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Cooking spray oil, canola<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">$1.39<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
$1.50<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
7.9%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Green peppers, each (Sold by threes at Aldi)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">50</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: green; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><span style="color: green;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
74<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
48.0%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Red, orange, and yellow peppers, package with one each<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">$2.99<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
$3.98<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
33.1%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Boneless, skinless chicken breast (per lb)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">$1.99<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
$2.19<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
10.1%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Onions, yellow (3lb bag)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">$1.49<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
$1.96<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
31.5%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Flour tortillas, 6” (dozen)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">89</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: green; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><span style="color: green;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
98<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
10.1%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Peanut butter, chunky (per ounce)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">11.3</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: green; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><span style="color: green;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
13.7<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> ¢</span><o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
21.2%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Olive oil (virgin)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
17.7<span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">16.0</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: green; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><span style="color: green;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
9.6%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Tall kitchen bags (per bag)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">6.3</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: green; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><span style="color: green;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
13.5<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
114.3%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Black beans, 15 oz can<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">59</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: green; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><span style="color: green;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
68<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
15.3%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Parmesan cheese, grated (per ounce)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">29.9</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: green; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><span style="color: green;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
33<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
10.4%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Paper towels, decent ones, but not name brand (per roll)<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">$1.35<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
$1.83<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
35.6%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td style="border: 1pt solid windowtext; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 311.4pt;" valign="top" width="415"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Avocados, Hass<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: green;">49</span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: green; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"> ¢</span><span style="color: green;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="top" width="72"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
$1.49<o:p></o:p></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom-color: windowtext; border-bottom-width: 1pt; border-right-color: windowtext; border-right-width: 1pt; border-style: none solid solid none; padding: 0in 5.4pt; width: 0.75in;" valign="bottom" width="72"><div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: right;">
204.1%<o:p></o:p></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some notes: Some items were on sale at either place. I don't remember them all, but some are the milk and canola oil at Walmart (competing with Aldi, I am sure), avocados both places (!), mangoes and onions at Aldi.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I shop at Aldi now. The reason is obvious- it so much cheaper! It's an almost meaningless statistic, but the cost-normalized savings* at Aldi is about 25.6%. The selection is not there for all the stuff I want, but I can go to Aldi for 80% of my trips. I don't even want to know what this chart would look like vs. Meijer- the one here is amazingly expensive!<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">*I got this by multiplying the mean price of the item between the two stores with the percent savings at Aldi for each item, taking the mean of those, and dividing by the mean of the average price. Is this valid? I don't know. You should still shop at Aldi.</span></div>
</div>
Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-62300525455998598322012-07-31T18:08:00.005-06:002012-08-07T20:07:16.212-06:00Q: Is Clear 1.5mbps service fast enough to use Skype?Q: Is Clear 1.5mbps service fast enough to use Skype?<br />
A: Yes. On a Google Plus hangout, I get comfortably clear picture and audio with 1.5 service with the cheapo laptop dongle being in good range of a tower.<br />
<br />
Here's what I get:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.speedtest.net/result/2107408311.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.speedtest.net/result/2107408311.png" /></a></div>
<br />Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-20452752352281892302012-05-10T20:29:00.001-06:002012-05-10T20:29:35.645-06:00Q: What is the best way to remove silver nitrate stains from surfaces?A: Bar Keeper's Friend scouring powder.<br />
<br />
409, bleach, Pine-Sol: no effect.<br />
BKF and several minutes with the scouring side of a sponge: stain gone.Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-71422308933266163002012-01-23T22:23:00.000-07:002012-01-23T22:23:16.437-07:00This was a little too long for a facebook update, and my blog has been neglected.Okay, I gotta be honest about my day. First off, there wasn't any Sarah in it. Now, my day at work- my first at my new position with CB&I was just fine- but here's the sequence of events that was my evening: left work at about 4:40 desiring to get to the post office before it closes (presumably at 5). I didn't understand the intensity of traffic in Plainfield/Naperville. I was coasting through green lights at first, but as it got closer to 5PM, I indexed along in sequence and started catching all the red lights. What's at stake here? $35 in rebate cash that need today's postmark. Middlin' on the bummer scale. 5PM comes and goes, but you know, it might be one of those post offices that is open until 5:30. Don't give up hope. Still more red lights.<br />
<br />
Okay, so I make it- and- answer to prayer! It is open, and not just until 5:30, but until 6:30! Amazing! The post office I was directed to by my new work friend is the distribution center. But- bummer again, there's a long line, and all I need is stamps. Maaan, I gotta wait anyway. Hey- I wonder if there's one of those stamp vending machines in here? Well, now somebody got in line behind me, and I'd have to give up my spot in line to look... and I don't see one... not worth it, I don't think. (5 minutes pass) Now a woman is saying that the machine is broken. Null effect: there is a machine, but it is broken. I'll check that first on my next visit.<br />
<br />
Alright, now I'm leaving the post office- but I don't know where I am. I just followed the directions to the post office, and I don't know if I went too far on 59 and am now past my hotel, or haven't gone far enough yet. I don't have a smartphone to check with. (Yet.)<br />
<br />
I'll bet on having not gone far enough. Also, I need to get something for dinner. I'm hungry. Should I visit a restaurant, or go grocery shopping? On the pro-restaurant side: Immediate gratification, and there is a Sweet Tomatoes salad buffet quite close to the hotel which can help with my healthy eating goals. I wouldn't be grocery shopping hungry. I don't know if the hotel has pans to go with the mini-stovetop that's in the room. On the pro-grocery shopping side: I save money, and can get something to pack for lunch tomorrow, which also saves money.<br />
<br />
I have plenty of time to ponder this, as there is a decent amount of traffic on the road, and the light I am trying to get through is timed instead of sensored. Very little traffic is going through the other way, but lots of traffic is backed up on my road. I watch a green-light cycle go by for the left turn I want to take because I'm trapped behind traffic and there's a median preventing me from getting into the turn lane. Grrr. Estimated minutes spent at stoplight: 6.<br />
<br />
I get onto the main road again, and I see a Meijer. Snap decison time- grocery or restuarant? Decision made- groceries. Bonus feature: I can ask someone in the Meijer how to get to the hotel. Shopping: Pro: granny smith apples are reasonably priced. Con: have to wait to get sandwich meat at the deli. Pro: This is a pretty nice Meijer. Con: I don't know if the "10 for $10" sale requires you to actually buy 10. Pro: the deli guy gives me a sample of the turkey, I didn't even ask. Con: I grab the turkey but am immediately unsure if he was holding it out for me to take, or just to inspect, because he asked if the thickness was okay. Eat turkey anyway. Pro: bread is on sale. Con: I still don't know about these "X for $Y" sale prices. Pro: random lady in frozen foods aisle is friendly when I ask if she knows about the sales. Con: I don't know if random lady in frozen foods aisle thinks I was awkwardly trying to start a conversation and ask her out. Con: She doesn't know about the sales either. Pro: Meijer guy in dairy area tells me I don't have to buy 10 to get the 10 for $10 price. YESSS. Con: I don't know what to get for dinner that I can make in a hotel room that isn't really bad for me. Pro: I decide on canned soup, and find some on sale. Con: I am dragging out my grocery shopping because I have nothing to draw me away from the grocery store. Pro: Kalamata olives are reasonably priced. Con: self-checkout aisle scanner is acting up and doesn't want to scan. Pro: lady at in-store bank gives me some directions that I can infer my location from. Con: IT'S SO DARN COLD AND WINDY Con: I want to take a left to get onto that one road, but there's a solid median. Pro: Oh, the hotel is right there. Nice.<br />
<br />
Okay, so here's the deal with the hotel: CB&I is putting me up in a hotel for the first little bit of work while I get my lodging figured out. More on that in a later post. Anyway, when I arrived last night, the hotel didn't have a reservation for me- alright, I thought that might happen, since I hadn't heard back from the training coordinator. I can put it on my card and get reimbursed, and things will get sorted out for the second night. So now I'm at the hotel for the second night- having re-packed all my stuff into the car again this morning since I couldn't leave it there, having only paid for one night. The hotel's computers are down, and he doesn't have a reservation for me in the stack of paper he's got. Okay, the system is coming back up right now. It's slow, and- no, sorry, no record of a reservation. Well, alright, on the card it goes again, and I'll do another expense report. Now, though, I have groceries in my car and the same conundrum as last night. I'm hungry.<br />
<br />
What's the natural thing to do? Escape! Escape from the world! I get to my room, nuke a can of soup, and decide to watch a movie on my laptop. What's handy? I eventually settle on 2001: A Space Odyssey. I've never seen it, and it's got such a prominent place in movie culture, it must be good, right? WRONG! Crazy piece of film- it makes no sense at all, and only my misguided sense of finish-what-you-start keeps me from turning it off. Blech. I finish and waste too much time on the computer. Now it's getting late. I meant to hit the exercise room tonight, so I feel lame for not doing that. I feel lame for my focus on God being so up-and-down lately. What to do? Obviously, look at the olives I bought. I won't eat any, though, because I already had way too many of those 75% off close-dated almonds. Gee, what does 'thrown' mean in the context of an olive label? I wondered about that in the store. The internet tells me. I still feel empty.<br />
<br />
Is this how God gets my attention? Has he intervened here to get me to where I can't ignore that I need him, or is it just so much the way that he created us that it is impossible to ignore that the hole in me is God-shaped? I pray. I sing a verse. I read Proverbs. I am reminded that yes- God is the center of the universe, and I am best when the God-shaped hole in me is being filled.Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-17374286659677280512011-09-15T23:19:00.000-06:002011-09-15T23:19:41.428-06:00Newsflash: You are entitled to softer fabrics as a basic human rightI just got a great bit of news! Downy has somehow worked it out so that having softer clothes is now a basic human right. I imagine that now, the <a href="http://www.hrw.org/">Human Rights Watch</a> will now be on the case of enforcing this, so watch for your government-supplied Downy soon. You might wonder how I found out- after all it's not break in the news yet (what gives?). Well, this popped up just a minute ago:<a href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BCArAR6NdD0/TnLbVS9pFII/AAAAAAAABkI/3rZhQ2c8fWU/s1600/downy.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BCArAR6NdD0/TnLbVS9pFII/AAAAAAAABkI/3rZhQ2c8fWU/s1600/downy.PNG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It's simple logic. If Downy is displaying that ad to everyone on the internet, then that means that <i>everyone</i> deserves softer, fresher clothes. So it can't be that you have to do something to deserve soft, fresh clothes- because not everyone has done the same things. The only accomplishment that <i>everyone in the world</i> shares is that we're all alive- so I guess being alive is the only thing you have to do to deserve softer, fresher clothes. There you have it- every human deserves softer, fresher clothes, so the only thing it can be is a human right. Thanks Downy!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Be advised: If someone is telling you that you deserve something, they are probably trying to use you.</div>Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-62455274264340108442011-09-11T14:53:00.000-06:002011-09-11T14:53:31.274-06:00DandelionsGod works through many different ways, and I think one of them is the shuffle playback for music. You never know what's going to come next- maybe God picked it! Yesterday I was doing some homework and listening to some songs on shuffle. A song came on by Five Iron Frenzy, one I've listened to a hundred times before, I'm sure. It's called Dandelions. It could have just gone in one ear and out the other like it had so many times before, but something perked my ears up just then, and I heard something I hadn't heard before.<br />
<br />
This isn't the first time this has happened to me- Five Iron Frenzy wrote a lot of deep lyrics for a band with an average fan age of thirteen. In fact, this blog is <a href="http://nedfunnell.blogspot.com/2007/04/name-inspiration.html">named for a deep Five Iron song</a>. All these words were in the songs when all of us punk kids were listening to them a decade ago, but they didn't click then. If I keep listening to Five Iron as I get older and older, I wonder if I'll just keep discovering stuff in their songs.<br />
<br />
Back to Dandelions- here is the audio from Youtube, and the lyrics below. See if you pick up on what I did.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="345" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/MSe4mZ2bvkg" width="420"></iframe><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #545559; font-family: verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">In a field of yellow flowers,<br />
underneath the sun,<br />
bluest eyes that spark with lightning,<br />
boy with shoes undone.<br />
He is young, so full of hope,<br />
reveling in tiny dreams,<br />
filling up, his arms with flowers,<br />
right for giving any queen.<br />
<br />
Running to her beaming bright,<br />
while cradling his prize.<br />
A flickering of yellow light,<br />
within his mother's eyes.<br />
She holds them to her heart,<br />
keeping them where they'll be safe,<br />
clasped within her very marrow,<br />
dandelions in a vase.<br />
<br />
She sees love, where anyone else would see weeds.<br />
all hope is found.<br />
Here is everything he needs.<br />
<br />
Fathomless your endless mercy,<br />
weight I could not lift.<br />
Where do I fit in this puzzle,<br />
what good are these gifts?<br />
Not a martyr, or a saint,<br />
scarcely can I struggle through.<br />
All that I have ever wanted,<br />
was to give my best to you.<br />
<br />
Lord, search my heart,<br />
create in me something clean.<br />
Dandelions<br />
you see flowers in these weeds.<br />
<br />
Gently lifting hands to heaven,<br />
softened by the sweetest hush,<br />
a Father sings over his children,<br />
loving them so very much.<br />
More than words could warrant,<br />
deeper than the darkest blue,<br />
more than sacrifice could merit,<br />
Lord, I give my heart to you</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #545559; font-family: verdana; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span><br />
There's not some hidden, veiling double meaning here. I just didn't get it until now- probably because I was hearing but not listening. The point that I got from it is that we are very much the little boy with shoes untied, bringing dandelions to his mother. His mother loves those dandelions, she loves them so much- why? Not because dandelions are the most beautiful flower, or that by their own merit they have any value. Really, dandelions are weeds. The dandelions are special to her because they are her young son's expression of love- his very best, with nothing held back. The little boy gave her the dandelions with a pure heart as a gift of love.<br />
<br />
How are we like that little boy? In plenty of ways. We are all, in some way, incompetent and backwards- with our shoes untied, you might say. Like the little boy, we are all capable of bringing a gift of love with a pure heart which will be just the very thing that the recipient wants. Finally, just like there was someone for the little boy to give his gift to, there is someone to whom we should give our gift of love- God. Now, God has a lot in common with this proverbial mother as well. She saw love in those weeds, because that's what they were: a gift of love. God also judges your gift not by some rubric or abstract value, but by the heart that presents it. If you offer something to God out of your love for him, it will be greatly pleasing to him, because that's exactly what he wants. What if the little boy had brought his mother a diamond ring, but did it out of obligation and with a sour heart? She wouldn't love that, even though the gift itself was amazing. In the same way, it doesn't matter if all you can give with your life is things that seem small and inconsequential- God is looking for your heart of love. Don't think God will be impressed by your great achievements in your life, either, if you're doing them for your own reasons and not to glorify him. Doesn't this sound an awful lot like a story you might have heard?<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">And he [Jesus] sat down opposite<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-24707BU" title="See cross-reference BU">BU</a>)"></sup> the treasury and watched the people<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-24707BV" title="See cross-reference BV">BV</a>)"></sup> putting money into the offering box. Many rich people put in large sums. And a poor widow came and put in two<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-24708BW" title="See cross-reference BW">BW</a>)"></sup> small copper coins, which make a penny.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><b> </b></span>And he called his disciples to him and said to them, <span class="woj" style="font-size: 16px;">"Truly, I say to you,<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-24709BX" title="See cross-reference BX">BX</a>)"></sup> this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box.</span><span class="woj" style="font-size: xx-small;"><b> </b></span><span class="woj" style="font-size: 16px;">For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-24710BY" title="See cross-reference BY">BY</a>)"></sup> poverty has put in everything she had, all<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-24710BZ" title="See cross-reference BZ">BZ</a>)"></sup> she had to live on."</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="woj" style="font-size: 16px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
A lot of the time, when this passage is preached on, the conclusion is "give until it hurts". It'd be easy to conclude that, given the ending- but I don't think that's the message here. I think the message is the same one that we can take from Dandelions. The fact is that God doesn't care how much you give, how much you achieve, what kind of greatness you have to offer him as this world measures it. All that will pass away. God cares about your <i>heart</i>. Nothing pleases God more in an offering than a heart that is giving out of its abundance of love for him. Now don't run away and think "God doesn't care how much I give, so I'm going to give very little, but do it cheerfully". Replace 'give' with whatever you want- 'try', 'accomplish', 'care'. What does that say about your heart? What if the little boy was just wanting to give his mother the easiest flowers to find?<br />
<br />
No, what you <i>do</i> isn't what matters- but it is the evidence of the thing that does matter. If your heart is completely focused on God, then you're going to give your whole life to him. That's pleasing to God not because it's your all, but because it was your love for him that compelled you to give it.<br />
<br />
Take two things from this. One is this- are you living your life as a pure gift to God? Are you sliding by with however much effort/diligence/contribution everyone else is, or, are you so motivated by your love for God that you want to give him your very best? Look at things the way God sees them.<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f9fdff; color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span class="woc" style="font-size: 15px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f9fdff; color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span class="woc" style="font-size: 15px;">On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’</span> <span class="woc" style="font-size: 15px;">And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #f9fdff; color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span class="woc" style="font-size: 15px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
The second thing is this- don't judge your life on the same scale that the world does. The world's scale says that those dandelions were crap, a dozen roses is par. That's just not true. If all you have to give to God doesn't look like much on that scale, who cares? It doesn't matter in the least. You are a child of God, things are different. What matters is the heart that is giving it. Is it with a pure heart of love for God? That's what God wants. Don't aspire to greatness or accomplishment as measured by any earthly scale. Aspire to love God first and best, for that is far better.<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">He opened his mouth and taught them, saying:</span><br />
<span class="woj">Blessed are<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-23238E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)"></sup> the poor in spirit, for<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-23238F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)"></sup> theirs is the kingdom of heaven.</span><br />
<span class="woj">Blessed are<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-23239G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)"></sup> those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.</span><br />
<span class="woj">Blessed are the<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-23240H" title="See cross-reference H">H</a>)"></sup> meek, for they shall inherit the earth.</span><br />
<span class="woj">Blessed are those who hunger and<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-23241I" title="See cross-reference I">I</a>)"></sup> thirst<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-23241J" title="See cross-reference J">J</a>)"></sup> for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.</span><br />
<span class="woj">Blessed are<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-23242K" title="See cross-reference K">K</a>)"></sup> the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.</span><br />
<span class="woj">Blessed are<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-23243L" title="See cross-reference L">L</a>)"></sup> the pure in heart, for<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-23243M" title="See cross-reference M">M</a>)"></sup> they shall see God.</span><br />
<span class="woj">Blessed are<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-23244N" title="See cross-reference N">N</a>)"></sup> the peacemakers, for<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-23244O" title="See cross-reference O">O</a>)"></sup> they shall be called<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-23244P" title="See cross-reference P">P</a>)"></sup> sons of God.</span><br />
<span class="woj">Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-23245R" title="See cross-reference R">R</a>)"></sup> theirs is the kingdom of heaven.</span><br />
<span class="woj">Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-23246T" title="See cross-reference T">T</a>)"></sup> on my account.</span> <span class="woj">Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for<sup class="xref" style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; line-height: 0.5em; vertical-align: text-top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-23247V" title="See cross-reference V">V</a>)"></sup> so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.</span>Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-13162193910389195992011-08-27T09:49:00.002-06:002011-08-27T09:49:57.806-06:00Six dozen failed projects<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><span>As I was laying in bed last night, I had a realization. I am afraid of failure. Not just a normal fear, like I think most people have, but a paralyzing grip-of-death fear. I realized that I was haunted by my failures in the past- when I let them, they loomed over me like black clouds which followed me wherever I went, and signaled to everyone around me that I was a loser. It actually goes a level deeper- I realized that all these failures in the past, of which I was so afraid, had actually been caused by the fear itself.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><span>Allow me to explain. I’m a tinkerer and a project guy. I love to make stuff, and I’m constantly having ideas for neat-o stuff I could make. Right now it’s an electric bicycle. A few weeks ago it was a go-anywhere miniature portable speaker powered by an old laptop battery. For a long time, the idea of a fast electric go-kart has been in my mind. I’m always thinking of something cool I can make, and I have been since I was a kid. I often dig into these projects with great fervor and excitement. I have a whole bunch of junk to prove it- things I’ve purchased for a project, or little items I’ve found and refused to throw away because of how useful I think it could be for something I could make. I get really excited about how cool my new thing is going to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><span>Here’s the problem, though: I don’t follow through. Of all the projects I’ve started, just a handful have been completed. The rest are either abandoned or languishing in various states of incompletion. Combat robotics was my hobby in high school. I successfully built two robots. I think I count three uncompleted ones, plus two more that were ‘done’ but incredibly lame because they were rushed together last-minute.<span> </span>The three uncompleted ones weren’t just ideas I didn’t follow through on, they were projects I invested large amounts of time and (for a high-schooler) money in. Robotics isn’t the only thing- I bought a diesel vehicle because I thought the concept of biodiesel was incredible cool, and I planned on making my own biodiesel reactor and driving across the country on the cheap. It never happened. Then I got excited about it again after selling the first diesel car and bought another… and sold it. (At least I made a profit on both) <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><span>This cycle has happened many times with numerous projects- water-cooled computers, modifications to my car, several potato cannons, a motorcycle that’s now sitting non-running in a garage. Last night before I went to bed, I found out that my electric bike project probably wouldn’t be quite as fast as I had been hoping- only 17 mph. I was feeling like maybe I should give up on the project because it wasn’t quite as cool, not quite as worth it. What would my friends say, whom I’ve told about the project, when it’s not as fast as I made it out to be? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><span>Then I started thinking about how I’ve done that so many times before, and how lame I was for it. I couldn’t make sense of that, though, because I thought I was pretty neat, and so did a lot of other people. God’s word tells me that I’m neat. Why did I feel so bad about giving up so many projects? Sure, giving up projects is bad, but why does it happen <i>so </i>often<i> </i>and why do I feel <i>so </i>bad about it? Then, I put the pieces together that explain why, on so many occasions, the same cycle repeats itself. I have an idea. I get excited about it. I make plans for the project. I start the project and get somewhere between 20% and 95% done- then I give up! Why? Why do I engage in such destructive, irrational behavior <i>over and over again?</i> It’s fear. The same thing that makes our economy run, that gives our political system its shape, that motivates beyond any other emotion. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><span>For me, the fear block is stunningly effective because of just how excited I get for the projects. I have my idea and am convinced it’s just a <i>ludicrously amazing</i> idea and that when my project is finished, it’s going to be <i>amazing.</i> I jump into the project with the enthusiasm of a seven-year-old at his first tee-ball game. I make progress. I do good work. I overcome obstacles. But then, fear creeps in. It enters the space of my enthusiasm and starts replacing it. The expectations I had for greatness in my project turn into requirements or standards I must meet. The hype I built up in my mind is now looming over me as if some panel of judges is just waiting for my project to be complete so they can evaluate it according to the expectation of greatness I set up for it- and the prognosis is grim. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><span>So what do I do when I feel like failure is looking over my shoulder, just waiting for my project to be not quite as great as I anticipated? Or perhaps when I’ve compromised some aspect of my vision for cost, difficulty, or time- did I just break a promise to myself? Now what? I give up. I just lay the project aside and do something else. After all, my track record shows a consistent series of failures, doesn’t it? Better to just give up- it makes more sense to abandon a project and guarantee failure than to end up with something that’s not quite as amazing as I thought it could be. I should just do something else that’s more fun- I’ll come back to it later … and then the terrible feeling comes on- the half-finished project is mocking me from across the room, or the never-attempted plans are calling to me from my computer, telling me I’m a loser for not bringing them to life. There’s always something more appealing to do than coming back to a sheer cliff named ‘Project Completion’ and beginning to climb it. Something easier and seemingly more fulfilling, and I, in the sinful human condition, have historically taken the easy way far more times than I’ve challenged that cliff. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><span>So what is the cure for my problem? Well, it has these two prongs I asked about before: why do I keep doing this, and why does it make me feel irrationally terrible? The latter problem, I think, answers the former. I keep repeating this cycle of giving up because I am so afraid that my project will be a blunder- the fear paralyzes me. Here’s the key- I let all those failures make me feel worthless. Yes, it is true- I’ve failed many times before. The mistake, though, is letting those failures define me. I let my failure identify me, slapping a name badge on my chest that reads “Ned Funnell: Owner of six dozen failed projects”. I won’t say that success doesn’t have value, or that it’s wrong to draw conclusions about someone based on what they’ve done. However, <i>however! </i>Performance <i>never</i> dictates value. My accomplishments or lack thereof can <i>never</i> tell me how much I’m worth. The truth is that I have immense value that nothing and no one can take from me. God created life in me, and despite my inability to do anything good without him, he saw so much value in me that he, the self-existent author of creation, lowered himself to the position of a slave and offered himself as a sacrifice- to pay the very debt I owed and could not pay. God sees <i>that much</i> value in me.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;"><span>I could believe what my fear is telling me- that I’m worthless because I’ve failed before. On the other hand, I could believe what God says- that I’m so valuable that he would die for me. I could do what the fear compels me to do- just give up and do something else. Or, I could do what God said to do in his book: “<span class="apple-style-span"><span style="background: #F9FDFF; color: #001320;">Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men”. God doesn’t judge me according to my successes or failures, he judges my heart. Which heart is more pleasing to God- one that gives up in the midst of difficulty, or one that takes courage from God’s promises and continues on?</span></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-37208311387833099632011-05-22T19:42:00.001-06:002011-05-22T19:49:43.322-06:00Just a thoughtIf you look for God only in the supernatural, you're going to miss out on a lot. God displays himself in so much of the natural and ordinary; you'd be wise to look for him under every rock. Refusing to see God in every day life doesn't profit you anything.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uZfTaV2GIYo/Tdm9JwJiAlI/AAAAAAAABg0/QNtnIPlBNvw/s1600/0521111618.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uZfTaV2GIYo/Tdm9JwJiAlI/AAAAAAAABg0/QNtnIPlBNvw/s640/0521111618.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-81269411694658353592011-05-21T23:14:00.000-06:002011-05-21T23:14:28.544-06:00A post for May 21<div align="left" id="songlyrics"><div style="line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">This would have been more topical earlier, but I was singing this song today and I thought it would make sense, given the doomsayers (now proven wrong). Here's the song itself and the lyrics:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0u2ZgGSMM0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0u2ZgGSMM0</span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I wonder if these minutes were my last,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">If I should start to feast or start to fast.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Would I pray or would I curse,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Hope for good or something worse?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">What emotion would I feel?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Would I run or would I kneel?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Time is winding down but only for this life.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I want to be found enjoying the next life.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I see leaves and they are starting to turn brown.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">They'll be green and growing when the second season comes around.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The strongest will expire just the same,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The quick will fall exactly like the lame.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I'll do nothing at the most<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">To keep from giving up the ghost,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Try to make my shoulders broad,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">But I am helpless without God.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Time is winding down but only for this life.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I want to be found enjoying the next life.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I see leaves and they are starting to turn brown.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">They'll be green and growing when the second season comes around.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I may try to grip control,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">But when for me shall this bell toll?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">If the answer is to bow,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">To him that makes how soon is now?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Time is winding down but only for this life.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I want to be found enjoying the next life.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I see leaves and they are starting to turn brown.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">They'll be green and growing when the second season comes aroun<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></div><div style="color: #545559; font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"></div>Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-29094721908744926272011-05-02T23:29:00.001-06:002011-05-03T10:52:20.389-06:00Horchatapocalypse20oz:<br />
<br />
5 pumps cinnamon syrup<br />
1 pump gingerbread syrup<br />
1 pump vanilla syrup<br />
1/4 tsp secret spices, including cayenne pepper.<br />
Fill with milk and serve iced.<br />
<br />
Enjoy.Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-36312610145435695502011-04-25T13:36:00.000-06:002011-04-25T13:36:58.888-06:00Heroes and ZatzeekyI, like most young bachelors, do not fancy myself to be a master chef. In general, I'd rather bum some leftovers from Jamie Thompson (she's a killer cook) than prepare something for myself. Cooking for one is a drag anyway- you can either spend a lot of time preparing small portions, or cook a normal-sized meal and eat the same thing for a week and a half. Sure, there are ways around this- many turn to Ramen or Easy Mac, or eating out for every meal. I object to those alternatives for health and cost reasons. While it is true that I don't like to cook every night, I do find myself feeling culinarily adventurous from time to time. I've been known to prepare meals from time to time that deviate from the normal bachelor fare. Way back in the summer of 2008 I made fancy chicken parmesan for one just out of boredom- both time-boredom and palate boredom. I was impressed enough with myself that I took a cameraphone picture:<br />
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How bad is it that I'm reaching back to 2008 for examples of decent cooking? After all, I am also responsible for this mug-o-oatmeal microwave disaster:<br />
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</div>Little cooking anomalies like the chicken do happen from time to time. I find it much more fun to make a dish for a potluck (pitch-in, midwesterners) rather than just cooking for an hour or two and sitting down alone to enjoy it- for me, the return on investment isn't there. If I'm cooking a dish for a group, though, it's much more worth it to me. I've been known to bring a mean pot of chili to a barbecue, and better-than-expected-of-a-bachelor food to gatherings.<br />
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The hallmark of my potluck contributions, though, is a recipe for which I can take no credit, but for which I have a great deal of respect- my grandmother Whittingham's cornbread, passed down to me by my father. Many a Saturday morning was spent in the Funnell house eating cornbread made by my dad with whole wheat flour, corn meal, and love. I have lots of memories of spreading molasses or honey on my split-apart slice of cornbread with the rest of my family around our wooden kitchen table. Good times. This cornbread is always made in a cast iron skillet, any other vessel is strictly barred. I made it on a semi-regular basis, and so I found myself creatively borrowing Jamie's skillet to make it, as I had no skillet of my own. Perhaps you'll remember that Jamie got me a skillet of my own for Christmas, and perhaps that is the best testament for my affinity for this cornbread:<br />
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I also made a sweet awesome apple pie a few months ago that I almost forgot about:<br />
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Alright, alright, Ned makes food sometimes. Big whoop. He has to or he'd die. What's the big deal? And who is Zatzeeky, and why is he hanging out with heroes?<br />
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Let me explain- 'hero' is one phonetic pronunciation of the Greek word 'gyro', which is a sick-awesome dish made with pita bread, chicken/pork, and a fantastic sauce called 'tzatziki'. Recently, Sarah and I returned from a two-week trip, which meant we both had to restock our fridges. I was lamenting this task aloud and Sarah convinced me to prepare something called a 'meal plan'. I usually just go to the store, grab some staple foods or whatever is on sale, then come back home and say, with a tone of incredulity, "what the heck am I supposed to make with all this stuff?!"<br />
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Well, the meal plan turned out to be a good idea but making it meant I had to decide ahead of time what I wanted to make and eat so I could buy the stuff. (How 'bout that) I was trying to think of things more exciting than spaghetti or various soups, when I remembered a meal I'd had, of all places, at Saga, the official cafeteria of LeTourneau University. (Okay, it's not official, it's a nickname from the 70's that the administration has been trying to defeat for years) This wasn't the new and vastly improved Saga in the new building, no, this is old-building Saga. Now, if you're a LeTourneau student, you think I'm insane, I'm sure, for wanting to reproduce a Saga dish. This was after the Bon Appetit takeover, though, and that makes a difference. The new chef made gyros with tzatziki sauce, and it was quite good. Intriguing, even, as a foreign dish. I liked it, and when making my meal plan, I remembered it.<br />
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So gyros it was. What is a gyro? It's a pita (which is a round flatbread) topped with chicken or pork, vegatables of choice (e.g. tomatoes, onions, lettuce), and often tzatziki sauce. You fold it up and eat it like a taco.The sauce is a cool sauce made of yogurt, cucumber, and seasonings/herbs. Sounds kind of complex, eh? It was, especially considering that I couldn't find pita bread at Walmart. I did have tortillas, but I thought that'd be a travesty of a hybrid- Mexican/Greek? No thanks. So get this- I made my own pita bread. DADGUM! That took a while. I won't bore you with the cooking details, but I'll tell you that it still involved some bachelor moves, like using a crock pot as a mixing bowl and substituting pancake mix for flour when I ran out and the dough was super sticky.<br />
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A morning of cooking gets you this for lunch:<br />
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And these are the pitas, which I thought I could make without a rolling pin:<br />
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Sarah enjoys pitas.<br />
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What does this mean for my future? Will this progress in culinary skill and interest continue until I'm an accomplished chef, and turn out to be one of my life's defining features?<br />
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Hmmm.... nope. Gyros are good though.Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-8236041885960532802011-03-30T00:54:00.001-06:002011-03-30T01:31:43.882-06:00Apparently, hard drives can survive a trip through the washing machineLast Christmas, I was toting a laptop hard drive around with me during the<a href="http://nedfunnell.blogspot.com/2011/01/thompson-christmas-some-cars-and-zach.html"> Very Thompson Christmas</a>. I had just got my laptop back from the repair center and installed an upgraded hard drive, so the stock one was out of the machine. I had it in a protective anti-static back, a little bit of foam, and just because, I put the whole shebang in a sock. Well, during the Christmas visit, all my stuff was sort of piled in a corner because there were so many people all in one house. I had the opportunity to wash clothes, and scooped up all my laundry... including an errant sock containing the hard drive. When I got my laundry out of the washer and heard the distinctive crinkle sound of antistatic, I immediately knew my error. I was SURE that the drive was ruined. Just in case, I stuck it in some rice. Four months later, I pull it out just for giggles to see if it works. Sure enough, when I plugged it into a machine, Windows recognized the drive. It's running a drive integrity test now. If that passes, we'll know that there's something miraculous about this drive.<br />
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Edit: it made it for sure.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uPiv_tS_ZQA/TZLcSbqjW3I/AAAAAAAABfk/XIzgd_lRaAg/s1600/HDD.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uPiv_tS_ZQA/TZLcSbqjW3I/AAAAAAAABfk/XIzgd_lRaAg/s1600/HDD.PNG" /></a></div>Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-66085759433478893112011-03-09T09:13:00.000-07:002011-03-09T09:13:47.437-07:00Hold the presses. I forgot about induction.In my last post, I lambasted electric stoves as the worst cooking device in the history of the western world. This is true- but <i>only for electric resistance stoves. </i>That is- the normal kind with the coils that get red hot. There is another kind of electric stove that is actually pretty sweet- the electric induction stove. It uses the principle of electromagnetic induction to make the pan itself get hot instead of having a burner. Neat, right? Here's how it works- skip this part if you hate me.<br />
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There are two basic kinds of electricity- direct current (DC) and alternating current (AC). The stuff coming out of your house's outlets is AC, the kind from batteries is DC. AC is called alternating because the polarity- the plus and minus- of the electricity is actually switching back and forth. In household electricity, this happens 60 times per second- 60 Hertz. However, when you boost the frequency up a lot, an interesting phenomenon exhibits itself- electromagnetic induction. A changing magnet field will <i>induce</i> (hence induction) electricity to flow in nearby conductors. This is how generators work- a magnet spinning inside of some carefully-placed coils of wire makes electricity flow in the wires. The back-and-forth changing of the polarity of the AC electricity in the induction cooktop does the same thing! It's switching makes the magnetic field's north and south reverse every time it changes. Now, if you bring something electrically conductive near- like the bottom of your steel pot- it will make electricity flow in it. What happens when you have electricity flowing in the bottom of your pot, though? It's the same thing as goes on in your toaster. In your toaster, electricity is flowing through the wires inside- the ones that glow red in there- and it makes them get hot because the wire's resistance to the flow of electricity is having to absorb all that power- it gets converted to heat. So the bottom of your pot is having this electricity induced to flow in the bottom of it, but it's not a complex set of wires- it's just a piece of metal. The electricity then is essentially just a short circuit through the bottom of the pot- but because the pot has resistance, the power gets converted to heat for you to cook with.<br />
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(Haters, you can start reading here) The beauty of this is that electromagnetic waves travel across distance. So instead of your pot needing to be perfectly flat on the bottom, it only needs to be reasonably flat enough to stay close to the induction surface and it will still heat up. Now, it can't be inches away- in fact, magnetic waves lose power with distance to a factor cubed (or to the fourth power, I can't remember)- so if you get your pot too far away it won't work. That's fine, though, and good- because your pot is sitting right on the thing, and your metal spoons sitting next to the cooktop are far enough away to stay cool.<br />
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So all that means that induction cooktops are incredibly slick. They don't have the primary disadvantage of electric resistance stoves, which is that pots that aren't perfectly flat only heat up in the one spot they make contact. They still have one of the advantages, which is that it's a lot easier to install an electric wire for your stove in your house than it is to run a pipe for a natural gas stove. They also can pump a whole lot more power into your pot, which means you can boil water so quickly that it creates problems with making hard boiled eggs because it heats too fast. However, the primary benefit of electric stoves is lost- initial cost. Electric resistance stoves are cheap, but induction cooktops can't be had for under two grand. That's just the cooktop too- no stove involved.<br />
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Another factor though is safety. If your four-year-old flips on the induction cooktop, there won't be an element getting hot for little Bobby to burn himself on, because the stove itself doesn't get hot- the bottom of the pot does. No pot, no hot. It's all metal, though, not just pots- so if little Bobby wears a ring on his finger and sticks it on the turned-on cooktop, that ring's going to heat up something fierce. Check this out:<br />
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That's in induction cooktop, and notice the egg in the bottom left. It's half on the skillet and half off- the half on the skillet is cooking, but the half on the cooktop stays perfectly cold because it's only the metal skillet that gets hot.<br />
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Now, you have to beware of fakers. There are a lot of glass/ceramic surface cooktops out there, but that doesn't mean they're all sweet, sweet induction cooking power. A lot are just electric resistance cooktops in disguise. That's not to say that it's not an improvement- the ceramic top is always going to stay flat, and that will help your pots and pans from distorting as well. Ceramic cooktops are also about a thousand times easier to clean than a coil-based electric stove. I'd take a ceramic surface electric cooktop over a coil-based one any day- but I still wouldn't prefer either to gas. Ceramic cooktops tend to scratch like a son of a gun, and I'd be constantly petrified that I'd drop my cast iron pan on it and break it. How are you supposed to make Real Popcorn on a ceramic surface cooktop? You have to be shaking that pot back and forth like crazy to keep the popcorn moving, and what is that going to to do to your pretty ceramic surface? It's going to kick its trash, that's what its going to do.<br />
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So, gas is cheaper to operate, better for cooking on all counts, cheaper than induction, and you can make popcorn. Electric resistance is cheap but bad in all other respects. Electric induction is neat but way expensive and scratch-prone. I'll take the gas stove, please.Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-54457614403821499182011-03-08T23:50:00.000-07:002011-03-08T23:50:41.887-07:00Cheese. Stoves. Saunas and rally racing.If possible, so much as it depends on me, I will never buy American cheese. It is an abomination to mankind as a processed food product, and it is a crying shame that America wasted our <i>one shot</i> that we got as a nation at naming cheese on a half-plastic 'processed cheese food product'. The Swiss have a good cheese. The French have like twenty. We wasted our cheese name on something that I wonder doesn't come out of an oil well.<br />
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If possible, so much as it depends on me, I will never buy an electric stove. Thermal transfer between the heating element and your pan depends on the two surfaces remaining perfectly flat. Of course, the two things that need to remain perfectly flat are two pieces of metal that have a high coefficient of thermal expansion, are likely to see disproportionate heating, and go through several cycles of heating/cooling a day through a delta-T of several hundred degrees. GENIUS! If it doesn't stay flat (every aluminum non-stick pan in the world), then one spot on the pan makes honest-to-goodness contact with the element and the rest has to try and conduct that heat through several millimeters or more of air through radiant and convection heating. Bad news.<br />
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If possible, so much as it depends on me, I will spend at least 75% of the rest of my life in a sauna. The Finns are, as a race, the most brilliant people in the world. They're number 1 in sauna use- in fact, in WWII, if you left Finnish troops alone for as little as sixteen hours, they would have cut down some trees, made a sauna, heated it, and all had a steambath by the time you came back. Sixteen hours in the forest. The Finns also produce more winning auto race drivers than any other country in the world. Why wasn't I born finnish? Sauna and rally cars? Who can't love that? Oh, and they check out more library books per capita than any other country and they have sisu.<br />
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In conclusion, here is Kimi Räikkönen blasting a Citroën through a rally course.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-yYVwIpu-iAA/TXci6wAKdqI/AAAAAAAABdI/-hAPNWzxmsM/s1600/kimi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-yYVwIpu-iAA/TXci6wAKdqI/AAAAAAAABdI/-hAPNWzxmsM/s640/kimi.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>Image credit: mirror.co.ukNed Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-15765602586692831142011-02-22T15:31:00.004-07:002011-02-23T11:13:10.438-07:00Okay, so I just installed an electronically-checkable mousetrapI've got a little critter living in my ceiling. For the past couple days, I've heard him skitter around up there at night. Kim mentioned it after hearing it in the floor of the bathroom upstairs, which is over the same space. It was time for a mouse hunt. The problem, though, is that the mouse is in the ceiling, which is an inconvenient place to have to check a mouse trap frequently. (If you've ever failed to check a mouse trap for a day or two and had a mouse in it, you know why it's important to check. BARF.) This brought to mind <a href="http://www.instructables.com/id/Rat-Trap-Indicator-Lights/">a project</a> I'd seen on The Internet- a guy wired up a mousetrap so that he could check the status by a light. It's not hard, actually- it took me less than an hour to replicate. The basics are this- when the mouse trap is set and ready for a mouse- that is, not tripped- the bait holder and the little bar that holds back mouse death are touching. When a mouse springs the trap, these two break contact. They are also copper-coated metal, so they are electrically conductive and solderable. One can wire these two pieces as a switch between a power source and a little light, and then when the mousetrap is set off, the light will turn off. Ta-da!<br />
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I decided to do this, and hunted around for some parts. Two LEDs were harvested from an over-designed computer case. A few months ago I combined two broken aquarium lights into two working ones, and harvested a 5-volt power supply from that, as well as some wire I used. That got wire-nutted to a 110v power plug and after some trial-and-error soldering, an electronically-checkable mousetrap was born. Here's how I originally soldered the mousetrap up:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nzWhOFWjN0c/TWQ1IXMqKSI/AAAAAAAABcg/uV9ejIxqinw/s1600/IMG_0788.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nzWhOFWjN0c/TWQ1IXMqKSI/AAAAAAAABcg/uV9ejIxqinw/s640/IMG_0788.JPG" width="640" /></a></div> The red wire seen at the back is soldered to the trip bar (I'll call it) and as you can see, black to the bait holder. The wire color is insignificant here, as really it's just a switch, and therefore, monopolar.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WPwvRa2HL-4/TWQ1neDqatI/AAAAAAAABck/zxp2M2Ipzd8/s1600/IMG_0790.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WPwvRa2HL-4/TWQ1neDqatI/AAAAAAAABck/zxp2M2Ipzd8/s640/IMG_0790.JPG" width="640" /></a></div> Hey look, my camera takes good macro shots. This is a bad place to solder to, as the presence of the wire causes the bait holder to shift and not hold the trip bar in place at all. I removed it from here and soldered it onto the staple that holds it down, which works a treat.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-R-bjfVkxBAA/TWQ2KiyM7fI/AAAAAAAABco/NYbnnoMWON4/s1600/IMG_0791.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-R-bjfVkxBAA/TWQ2KiyM7fI/AAAAAAAABco/NYbnnoMWON4/s640/IMG_0791.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>Here it is installed. Argus the ever-watchful deer is playing stand for the power supply. The wires going up into the ceiling are connected to the mousetrap, and the power supply is made up of the transformer hanging behind Argus' ear and a rectifier/capacitor package shrinkwrapped inline downstream of the transformer. From there, it's just an LED/resistor package wired in series with the mousetrap. When the mouse trap is tripped, then Argus will no longer glow blue. The wires coming down from inside his ears are earbuds, not part of the project.<br />
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Now, as soon as some unfortunate mouse covets the delicious peanut butter in the trap, I will know because the blue LEDs will go out. All I have to do to check the trap is look at Argus once in a while.<br />
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I'm not sure if this even qualifies as 'electronic' rather than just plain electric- the only semiconductors in the whole thing are the diodes in the rectifier and the LEDs, and those aren't the heart of the mini-project. Maybe I can integrate the MSP430 microcontroller I just got courtesy of Texas Instruments into this somehow to make it twitter when a mouse is caught or something. (Not likely with 2k of memory)<br />
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Update: Hello hack-a-day-ers! When I got up this morning, the lights were out, and sure enough, I found a little mouse interloper in the trap. And yes, the deer head looked like that before I did this project.Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-25409785369312797392011-02-03T18:35:00.001-07:002011-02-03T18:35:21.226-07:00Q: What is the coolest thing in the world?A: This:<br />
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<object style="height: 390px; width: 640px;"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/WNZCS-coZjY?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/WNZCS-coZjY?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></object>Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-15468936962726247692011-01-26T19:46:00.000-07:002011-01-26T19:46:53.440-07:00I was wrong about the cracker conspiracy. Whoops.Faithful readers, you will recall that two weeks ago I posted a scathing exposé about a cracker scandal of epic proportions. Sadly, I must report that I was mistaken. I based my understanding of the cracker situation on a single piece of evidence which I did not verify. Although name-brand cracker prices <i>are</i> ridiculous at $2.25+ per box, the last piece of the puzzle- a jump in generic cracker prices- turns out to be absent. You see, I was in Walmart and saw that one of the pallet-in-the-aisle items was saltine crackers. The accompanying large-letter price sign did in fact read "2.28". However, when I was at Walmart on Tuesday, I spotted this:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eAY3786LsrA/TUDTbe9l3WI/AAAAAAAABTY/HfpJoa6buFY/s1600/IMAGE_011.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eAY3786LsrA/TUDTbe9l3WI/AAAAAAAABTY/HfpJoa6buFY/s640/IMAGE_011.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
Hmm... crackers for <i>$1.28.</i> That blows my whole theory out of the water, doesn't it? Theoretically, the cracker conspiracy could still be true, and just not deployed in its final stage yet- but I'm not going to hold my breath. What I think happened is that Walmart raised the price from $0.88 or $0.98 or whatever to $1.28- and then advertised it as if they were on sale. McDonalds did the same thing for their apple pies years ago. After they established the dollar menu, they didn't put the pies on the dollar menu because they were already much less than a dollar. They sold like stale potatoes. Later, McDonalds put them on the dollar menu- actually an <b>increase</b> in price, and advertised them like crazy, and they sold like hot apple pies. I speculate that Walmart did the same. So these crackers were piled up in the aisle being promoted, with the big flip-chart style price sign. Either employee error of vandal intervention changed the $1.28 to $2.28, hence my confusion. There's nothing stopping anyone from taking the sign down and changing it- in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if my mischievous younger self had done so at some point in history.<br />
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I apologize, faithful readers, for my obvious failure to do due diligence in my research before wildly flinging accusations around. I endeavor to produce only accurate and meaningful posts on this blog, and I have failed you in that regard. While crackers may not be the most earth-shattering subject on the planet, it is no small thing to be starting rumors of grand-level wrongdoing- it is tantamount to libel. Once again, I am sorry for my previous post, and I will strive not to repeat this mistake.<br />
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Please, accept this picture of me on stilts as a token of my appreciation for your continued readership.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eAY3786LsrA/TUDcY04d88I/AAAAAAAABTc/q7n2LssyrB4/s1600/IMAGE_013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eAY3786LsrA/TUDcY04d88I/AAAAAAAABTc/q7n2LssyrB4/s640/IMAGE_013.jpg" width="480" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">(and no, I can't walk on the stilts. To let go of the wall is to invite death)</div>Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7014627025896140523.post-19326888877541868112011-01-20T14:33:00.001-07:002011-01-20T14:33:45.857-07:00A Thompson Christmas, some cars, and Zach eating a flaming marshmallowHere's some pics and video from the past month or so that haven't fit into other posts.<br />
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I spent Christmas with the Thompson extended family in Phoenix, and took a bunch of pictures.<br />
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The second half of that slideshow is where all the cars are- Gareth and I went and checked out a drive-in car show.<br />
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We had an all-day staff meeting that someone chose to call a "Staff Retreat" before it happened. I came prepared to make a pie, but that had to wait, as making a pie during a meeting is challenging. Nevertheless, pie happened that evening. It came out pretty well. Here's how it looked:<br />
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Last week a mission team from Biola University came to Ephraim. I never know whether I ought to write it as BIOLA- the school started out as the Bible Institute of Los Angeles, hence the name, but has since then changed it to drop the acronym to just be 'Biola University', but it sounds funny to me since Biola isn't a name really, but formerly an acryonym. During their stay, we had an event at the cafe called Scarf your Smores, for which I made this coolio poster:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eAY3786LsrA/TTibuAnfZEI/AAAAAAAABPQ/GoRjDAgbowo/s1600/IMG_0515.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_eAY3786LsrA/TTibuAnfZEI/AAAAAAAABPQ/GoRjDAgbowo/s640/IMG_0515.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><br />
Please ignore that my attempt to write 'free scarves' in lowercase at the bottom ended up looking like a four year old wrote it.<br />
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Here's the full set of pictures from when the Biola team was here, including the event.<br />
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<center> <embed flashvars="host=picasaweb.google.com&hl=en_US&feat=flashalbum&RGB=0x000000&feed=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasaweb.google.com%2Fdata%2Ffeed%2Fapi%2Fuser%2Fned.funnell%2Falbumid%2F5564381304138962593%3Falt%3Drss%26kind%3Dphoto%26authkey%3DGv1sRgCITD3Z_gvdqHuwE%26hl%3Den_US" height="400" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" src="http://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/bin/slideshow.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="600"></embed> </center><br />
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During Scarf Your Smores, Zach ate a flaming marshmallow, which is recorded for your enjoyment here:<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">Razzle-dazzle.</div>Ned Funnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17575850788682447828noreply@blogger.com0