Saturday, August 28, 2010

VERBOTEN! smoothie

For those of you who have watched Hogan's Heroes, you will know that certain things are VERBOTEN!, according to Hans. One thing that probably was not specifically VERBOTEN! was smoothie-making. Of course, not all smoothie-making is VERBOTEN! If, hypothetically, one wanted to break the rules by making a smoothie, it could be done this way. In theory.

After installing a non-hypothetical sink in my apartment, I felt the need for a celebratory smoothie because I had over-ripe fruit and was hungry. I may have allegedly gathered my hypothetical ingredients:

Two small very-overripe plums
One middlin'-size slightly overripe nectarine
Two scoops of Blue Bunny Double Strawberry ice cream that Travis forgot in my freezer and told me to keep
A generous slice of Jamie's Ninja Cake (which is a normal slice for any other cake, due to opulent richness)
A hypothetical three-quarters scoop of coffee-toffee frappe mix that we're not going to restock anyway
A hypothetical splash of skim milk from the café fridge because we don't use skim before it expires
400ml of a mix between almond and non-almond Honey Bunches of Oats (on sale at Kent's last week) 
Two handfuls of ice cubes after hypothetically realizing that the hypothetical smoothie is too thin

Hypothetically blend with the smoothie button on the café's Blendtec Total Home Blender. You're done!

*If this actually did happen, the hypothetical smoothie-operator would realize that he'd succumbed to the Smoothie Greatness Postulate, which states that 

When making a Smoothie, any given operator will add too much of every ingredient, because all of the ingredients are Great, and the operator will inevitably think that "a little extra of this would be good". The effect is that the resultant smoothie is of unintentionally Great volume due to the additional portions of each ingredient. However, because the portion of each ingredient was increased, the proportions of ingredients remains largely unchanged, which leaves the net result as an unintentionally large smoothie, the largeness of which could be argued to be a expression of Greatness itself. 

The Smoothie Greatness Postulate is analogous to the Taco Overfilling Theorem with the exception that the overfilling of a Taco does not always result in arguably increased Greatness. 

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