Sunday, December 19, 2010

The ghost of Christmas yet to come

Last episode, I had been to general conference, gone to Texas, made T-shirts, and painted a stripe on my car. I'm glad to report that I still have my T-shirt, the Camry still has its stripe, and I've still been to general conference and Texas. But wait- THERE'S MORE! Here's a preview of what you'll get in the next few action packed episodes of On Distant Shores™, the official blog of Ned Funnell: 

(for maximum effect, read in the voice of a monster-truck-show announcer)

  • Solid Rock appears in the Snow College Homecoming PARADE with a tie-dye themed float!
  • I go backpacking in ZION!
  • Sarah Smith returns from distant shores with tales of ADVENTURE and loci!
  • I do well in the Chili Cookoff with the help of TONY CHACHERE'S CREOLE SEASONING!
    • (There is NO finer seasoning. Use it on everything!)
  • I create a VOLCANO inside Ephraim Church of the Bible!
  • Some friends go out the CHINESE RESTAURANT!
  • I make COFFEE!
  • Solid Rock celebrates Martin Luther's REFORMATION!
  • I make CORNBREAD!
  • A YWAM team comes and we learn a NEATO Indian song from them!
    • Also, we climbed ROCKS!
  • Internationally-renowned musical group SIXTEEN CITIES plays EPHRAIM!
  • Everyone loves grandpa DAVE THOMPSON!
  • I become a DAD!
  • I mourn the loss of my BELOVED Logitech MX620 mouse. :(
  • I bring the TIM-TAM SLAM to America!
  • I celebrate THANKSGIVING with my Ephraim peeps!
  • There is SNOW and DRIFTING in Ephraim! 
  • Ephraim Church of the Bible is in a PARADE!
  • Ephraim Church of the Bible is in ANOTHER PARADE!
  • I start a SIDE BUSINESS!
  • I make a geodesic dome out of an IMPROBABLE MATERIAL!
  • Work begins on my FLOOR!
  • Work finishes on my FLOOR!
  • I make a ten-foot long DESK!
BAM! You'd better strap in for all that EXCITEMENT! 

Okay, enough with the caps and monster truck announcing. I'll bring these adventures to you, a few per post, and hopefully in rapid sequence, over the next week or so. Today's installment brings you bullet point #1. 

Just after my last post, work started on making a parade float for the Snow College Homecoming parade. We always make a point to enter a float in parades as a way to keep the public informed that we are here and active- of course, not all of the community likes the idea of us being here (much less active), so the response isn't always outstanding- but anything that confronts people with Christianity can be used of God. 

The theme of the parade was love, and we had a tie-dye event while we were planning this whole shebang- the natural result is a giant tie-dye heart:

...and also some goofy getups, once the costume box has been unearthed.

Shane and Kim (or is it?) looking festive.

Clarification: I'm not in love with Jamie, just her cooking.


The parade was a success. My part in the float construction was to find a quiet power source for the sound system- although we looked for one of those sweet Honda EU2000i super-quiet generators, what we ended up with a standard loud generator in a box. I made a box out of MDF (particleboard) and put it over the top of the generator. It hardly did anything- you still had to yell to have a conversation. When I lined the inside with fiberglass insulation, though, one could have a conversation only a few feet away with an only slightly raised voice. Success! We could have our (obnoxiously repetitive) music!

The parade was a success. We danced, we waved, we hucked candy and bouncy balls at little kids- all the way through E-town, then back through side streets to get back to the college house to dismantle the float. To get a feeling of what the parade was like, listen to these two twenty times, only skip everything but the choruses: 

I count it a success, but not only in the sense of having made a cool float, chucking candy, and making fools of ourselves. I also call it a success in bringing God glory and reaching the people of Utah. The entire theme of our float was directed at God's love and loving God. Furthermore, we confronted people with the cross. That's significant in Utah in a way that it is not in the rest of the continent. LDS people do not use the cross, it is not their symbol. They don't like it. When my friend Steve received Christ and bought a cross necklace, his then-Mormon wife flipped her lid when she saw it on him. The cross is not a welcome symbol here. By displaying it proudly, we confront people. From my experience, LDS people in Utah are happy to live in a 'bubble', surrounded by Mormons and enjoying the isolation of being surrounded by like-minded people. This existence is not one that will typically generate spontaneous contemplation of truth and eternity. The Holy Spirit can use little things like being startled (and possibly offended) by a giant cross in the parade to work on people.

That's all for now. Stay tuned for the next episode of On Distant Shores™, the official blog of Ned Funnell. (Hopefully tomorrow)

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