Monday, November 12, 2007

Fire Drill hilarity

I know I only posted yesterday, but this is too good to pass up. We've been warned for the last week or so about an impending fire drill. I talk frequently with Young(the dorm director) and he told me(and everyone) that the fire exits do not work, so do not try them. Due to that, the fact that this is a concrete building, and it's only happening now with 4 weeks left in the semester- this whole thing is a big joke. Tonight I came back from the gym a few minutes after 11(curfew, announcement time) and saw people walking around with jackets on. I learned that they were prepared for the minutes-away fire drill in which everyone would have to deal with the cold outdoors for a few minutes. I was mildly annoyed, as I had been planning to take a shower just then. After a few minutes of joking around about how pathetic this fire drill is, I remember to unplug my electronics(they kill the lights and power to the whole building). Just in time, I hear this very faint ringing sound from down the hall, and then the lights go out. Soon thereafter this announcement comes over the PA: "Just in case you were wondering, yes, that IS the fire alarm- remember what we went over in the safety lecture. Don't try to use the fire exits, they're locked so go out the front door. Yes, this really is the fire alarm."

I proceed to run to the fire exit and pound on the door yelling "OH NO! THE FIRE EXITS DON'T WORK! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!". That got boring quickly(especially in the dark) so I remembered my nefarious plan and returned to my room to grab my towel, which I apply over my shorts. My shirt was already quite damp from exercising, so it was quite plausible to an onlooker that I had just stepped out of the shower(should have wetted my hair, hindsight is 20/20). I exit the building among some double-takes and join the assembly outside. A certain person who shall remain nameless lit off some fireworks, and the people from the dorm next to ours had a sparkler party. Every so often people would ask if I'd just gotten out of the shower, and I gave a vague answer. As things started to quiet down and get boring, the same nameless jokester points at me and yells "NED! PUT ON SOME CLOTHES! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUTSIDE IN A TOWEL? ARE YOU CRAZY?!" I play along for a bit and this of course has everyone looking at me(interestingly enough, people saw fit to give me about 10 feet of clearance about that time). In due course I make an act of grabbing at my towel and yell "OH NO!" just before I rip it off. Of course I still had my shorts on underneath. The crowd was much amused.

After that Young exposed people who had been killed (stayed in the building after the alarm went off) using an anemic megaphone and we shuffled back inside. We all got complementary ramen for our trouble, which was nice.

So yeah, that's the short story made long but it was seriously hilarious. All in all, the fire drill was more of a brief social event than a safety procedure.

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